How do I get custody established at this point?

Here is the situation: I have a one year old little angel and his father and i are just not compatatible. His father has been absent this whole past year, and as of Dec.1.2010 had to start paying court ordered child support. He is in the Army and lives in the barracks has been demoted twice recently for unbecomming behavior. I was in the Army as well for 5 years and had to finally get out due to parent hood. I moved back to Illinois from North Carolina and after 2 months he convinced me to move back to NC to try to work things out. I moved back on Jan.26.2011 and we got into a fight that night, the cops were called on us and I had hit him, not punched or slapped or anything enough to leave a mark. The next day he had his mother drive up from Florida, that sunday he took our son and left. I called the police the MP's I went to his unit but, nothing can be done because it is a civil matter. He and his mother tried to get me to sign over temporary custody to her so she could take our son to Florida. I refused and then he went and pressed charges against me for the other night. I got a warrant and turned myself in. However the charges are for hitting him and hitting my son which DID NOT happen. I spent the day in jail yesterday and was released on an unsecured bond. He also took out a restraining order against me but, no where on it does it say I can't come near our son just him and his family. I am not from NC I can't stay here indefinatley while this court stuff is going on and I need to get a lawyer to get custody and get my son back. Can I leave the state when I am released on an unsecured bond? Can I go back to Illinois and get legal aid to take over from here or do I have to be in NC for my court date? How am I going to ever get my baby back? I want no more trouble but, he and his mother are going to any length to take my son away from me. It is all the result of him trying to get out of paying 970 a month in support. I want my baby back I don't know what to do, it seems ebverything is against me and now I have fake charges for hitting a child under 12, please if anyone has experience wih this I really need advice. Thank you, I know this was long to read so thank you for taking the time to read it.