How do I ensure that I treat both my kids equally so they both feel loved and special and cherished growing up?

Im sorry you had such a tough time!! But i really wouldnt worry too much about it since you are already aware of it. Part of life is learning that its not always fair- and its part of your job as a parent to teach your kids that too, right? At some point all kids will feel like the other one is 'getting more" (e.g. my little brother got to do things at a much younger age than i did, since i was the older girl. But it would just make me upset as a teenager, no effect on me now :) ) Just keep fairness in mind, but not EVERYTHING has to be perfectly 'fair' or you may end up sheltering them from too much,. Just always tell them that you love them and help them out if one is feeling down. You had extreme cirstances and clearly know what jealousy can do to a person! You sound well balanced, im sure you will do just fine :) teach them not to be jealous and they will grow up to be happy people :)